It seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

Can y'all imagine how hard it is to be nesty when... well... your dining room looks like this????

Maternity leave continues apace. It's much less relaxing than you might imagine if you have to leave your house because they're sanding drywall. But fortunately, I have good friends who let me nap on their couch. I set myself one or two goals per day--like, "Buy diapers" or "Find nursing bras that could double as catapults in case of apocalypse" and that way, when I'm able to do that one thing I'm able to still feel accomplished. And I sit for long periods of time. I like that part, too. My ankles don't hurt nearly as much.

But then I get home and I can't clean, organize, nothing... to absolutely no one's surprise, they're a tad behind on the kitchen. They say that they'll finish next Friday. We'll see. On the bright side, I did organize the baby's room. In the meantime, I've managed to only have one minor meltdown this morning, which--let's consider that a bonus, shall we?

Yes, let's.

That's what I'd do, too

So. Um. What should one do if one were six weeks from welcoming a new, helpless and probably kind of needy new family member?

Start a kitchen remodel, of course!




Um. Can't go back now!

Different Day, Different Conversation

...so, the problem starts here.

By the washer and dryer?

Yes. And we attached this here.

Okayyy...

...and then we strung this up across here and drilled a hole through the wall here...

Yeahhhhh...

...where it attaches here.

Uh-huh.

This is where my husband plugs in his computer.

His.... computer?

Yup. Into this powerstrip that's plugged into that extension cord. And then there's this extension cord that's plugged into the power strip there that goes back here, and behind that, and around there, and then there's another power strip plugged into that.

Oh... God. What... what is in the power strip?

Well, there's the cable box, there, and then the AV tuner, and the DVD player and... oh, yeah, the projector and... oh! the speakers, those big ones over there. And, huh. There's another extension cord plugged into this power strip. I think it goes to that floor lamp over there, but I'm not sure.

Does... when... um. When you turn anything on, does anything happen, to, um, the other lights?

Oh, it goes to the XBox! Huh. I didn't know we had this many extension cords. Or power strips. Or extension cords in power strips. Wait, what? Does anything happen? Wow, I don't know. Here, lemme try.

NO! I mean, no, that's... okay.

Oh, okay.

I mean, it's not okay, this isn't okay. There is nothing about this that is okay!

Yeah, okay.

No! Not okay!

Right, yeah, okay. I MEAN! Bad! Bad us!

So can I see your panel?

Right. It's over here.

Uh... huh.

What?

Well, it's... there's... there's a little too much going on here.

Oh, well, that is certainly a shock.

Hrm.

Get it? A shock?

Yes. I got it.

A shock? Because it's electricity? And we're overpluggers?

Right. I got it. Shock. Funny. You'll need a new subpanel.

Um, okay.

I'm afraid to ask but... anything else you want me to take a look at?

Nope! I think this is the only electrical health hazard we have to pour money in after. If you want to take a look at our furnace, though...

Dear god no. The heart trembles.

Right then, that's it.

It's certainly enough. I mean! Should I fax the estimate to you? You... don't have a fax plugged in anywhere down here, do you? Please. I beg you, say no.

Yeah, no fax.

Right. I'll mail the estimate to you.

Great. The heart trembles.

...

Get it? Because you said that and...

I got it. The estimate will be in the mail tomorrow. No, no, I can show myself out. In the dark. Please. Don't turn anything on until I leave. Please.