How to spend a night not sleeping.

One thing that sucks about living in the Pacific Time Zone is that when you have insomnia, it's pretty much guaranteed that no one is awake. So let's say, hypothetically speaking, you have the hours from midnight to whenever the hell you get some sleep to fill. What do you do?

You've got your blogroll, the RSS feeds, but very few people update their blogs between midnight and eight a.m. on an early Monday morning.

There's MetaFilter, a good site to go to that takes you to other sites, but it can be hit or miss.

Surf YouTube, sure. Find some mildly amusing clips like Marvel vs. DC (parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on--now with more mutants), a sort of low-budget Robot Chicken. I mean, REALLY low budget. You see the hands. But there's some great geek in there.

There's other YouTube stuff that might occupy you for a while. LisaNova amused me for a little while, especially her three part series on Keira Knightly, Johnny Depp, and the Pirates of the Carribbean (parts 1, 2, and 3). She's got some other stuff, but those were my favorites.

You can try watching old movies. Something like Back to the Future has held up astonishingly well, actually; of course, parts are period and so aren't affected by the TWO DECADES since the movie. And really, the other part is now period all on its own. Ahhh Michael J. You were adorableness.

Also: apparently Billy Zane is in Back to the Future! Who knew?

What's next? I mean after the couple hours you lie back down and toss and turn and haunt yourself with the stupid stressors you let invade your brain.

So, next up on cable: Cousins! Yes, it's that wonderful movie, the one with Ted Danson as a romantic lead! Verdict on Isabella Rosselini: still an always gorgeous, but the eighties were not kind to her. Not kind at all. (I've been trying to find images to link to, but I can't say I blame Isabella for erasing all memory of herself in shapeless Coldwater Creek Tops and blazers that--no kidding--go down to her knees.) But where else are you going to see a movie with Ted Danson, Isabella Rosselini, William Peterson, and Sean Young? Oh, and Lloyd Bridges.

So, now it's 5:30. The sky is starting to get lighter. You check your email, but who would have emailed you by now? Update your blogroll. Nothing. Is that... yes, it's the paper arriving! And the garbage being picked up! You, my dear, have officially Not Slept. Yay, you!

It's time for Crap TV! Yes, that lovely thing that TNT, USA, Spike and TBS all do all day long: those syndicated shows. JAG, perhaps? Or maybe you'd prefer Charmed? Baywatch? Something, anything, to get those beloved alpha waves? I do still draw the line at Walker, Texas Ranger. Even sleep-deprived, I have some standards.

No? Well, crap, it's 8:00 by now anyway. You've got a doctor's appointment to dread. Might as well get up and get to it.