Monday, August 04, 2008
And if anyone asks, yes, four adults and a first-grader are a lot to host, yes. And it also totally changes your cooking style.
So in honor of this event, I'd like to give my guide to Being a Good Houseguest:
1. Always thank whomever prepared your meal. Profusely. Yes, even if a microwave was involved.
2. If you didn't cook the meal, then by god, you clean. Even if you have a penis.
3. Playing couch commando with the remote control is kind of sucky. Not everyone wants to listen to the farm report every morning. And please turn off the TV during meals? Thanks.
4. Please make some plans that you can do without your hosts. This is not rude--this is, in fact, wonderful. Even if it's just going for a walk. It would be great to feel at home in my house for even an hour.
5. Please offer to provide one meal while you're here. Cook it, get it delivered, take us out to a restaurant, what-the-fuck-ever.
What do you think of the rules I've outlined? Am I missing anything? What else do you think should be a good rule for a multi-day guest? Consider that we've provided comfortable beds, sheets, towels, food, and cars.
This has been an exhausting weekend.