Sunday, October 26, 2008

Where'd the month go?

How can I be working part time and still have a five-inch pile of homework and quizzes to grade--a pile I worked on for (essentially) eight hours straight yesterday, and still didn't finish?

Apparently I'm still having problems juggling this part time job thing. No big, really, but I always seem to think I can do more than I can in less time than I need. Or something. And I feel like I should be putting forth more effort, always. I can always see what I'm not teaching well enough, and I have ideas on how to do it better, but those ideas take time and planning and you know what? I'm getting paid slightly less than your average first-year bus driver, so why should I be writing new lesson plans, when half of my third period class can't do eight problems of homework?

What I'm saying is, the juggling I'm having problems doing is half timing, and half motivation. And half--well, hell. I have the cutest little boy at home that I'd way rather spend time with.

Of course, last week I was gone for a very precious forty-eight hours, to the coast with a dozen pretty spectacular women. It makes me realize my Hanging Out skills are a tad rusty. I guess a eight months of depression and then 10 months of pregnancy will do that to you, you forget how to manage the ebb and flow of conversations and groupings and rhythms and tempos. But now I can feel myself starting to join back up with the human race again, and that's good. I'm still letting some tricks drop, and that's bad, but I'm giving it my best, and it'll get better as time goes on. It helps that there are some pretty awesome people round these parts.

I can't believe Halloween is on Friday. The grocery store already has their Christmas stuff on display, which--dear God, I'm old, because...where has the time gone? Also: get off my lawn!


kimberly said...

You rock. No, seriously. You're a committed teacher who always wants to give 100+. But, you don't always need to do that. Those kids need to take some responsibility for meeting you partway (by actually doing the homework so you'll have more to grade? hmmm, maybe that makes it worse?). You deserve time simply being human. Time to enjoy that cute baby. Time to hang out with your lovely husband and awesome friends.

I miss you oodles and can't wait to see you in a month!

Leah said...

Bah! I keep trying to say something and it keeps coming out totally wrong. So what I'll leave it at, is a great big Love You and Hang In There. Perhaps the rest will go in an email. :)