I woke up last night and had a full blown panic attack. My heart was racing, I thought I might vomit, and I had no idea why. A was as good as he could possibly be, considering I woke him up out of a sound (and mostly sober) slumber. The worst part? I have no concrete reason why. But that's how panic attacks are.
Today's been devoted to most of the work I meant to leisurely do all vacation. Grading, more grading, with a side of grading and some grading on top. Whee. That might have been part of why I freaked right the fuck out last night. Gar. I'm so tired of grading. Plus whenever I think of stats, I get mildly panicky because I am totally making this up as I go along, which for a type A like me causes no small amount of anxiety.
But I've made good progress, I have a nice crockpot of some turkey-bean chili going, and the Rose Bowl is on TV, so I'm taking a quick break to write some resolutions.
1. Don't be so hard on myself.
2. Drink more water.
I would make a huge resolution about losing weight and getting fit, but I want this to be acheivable. If, in fact, I can do those things, great, but mostly I want to focus on healthier, so my resolution for now is to make sure I get the appropriate amount of water each day. I'll work on the others.
3. Finish the album of A.
This I started as a Christmas present for A. In August. Um. Maybe it'll be a birthday present?
4. Debt-free heaven in 2007
Our credit cards never got paid off after our move out here. They've inched up steadily since then--buying a house does that. It's stupid, because we don't really USE them all that much. So suck it up, girl. Don't buy shit. Use that money and get out from under that debt as soon as possible because that? Is just a better life, and you deserve it.
I think those are four acheivable resolutions that'll make me happier in the long run.
Alright, back to grading.